Daze

Jeez last night was the business. Holidaying in the adolescent vibe of beers and Bondi bikini bods at the Beach Burrito Bar - swept away into something simpler. Cheaper yes, but so agreeably simpler. Baking in the last violet throws of the dusk sun, I decided to flick though the pages of the magazine sitting next to me: Vice. I hadn't met that mag before… and what a perfect indulgence! Stellar wordsmiths sculpting in-crowd, self-referential, pop-cult nonsense - the pomo indifferent shit that fucks me right off when I’m breathing smog in Surry Hills chained to the pain of a hard day's work, so suddenly a splendidly boundless cavern of literary tomfoolery. Willingly dissolved into my bubblegum wonderland, I guffawed at paragraphs like this one…

“How long into his life can a man keep fucking? Here in Japan, there is one brave grandpa who is using his own body to answer that question. His name is Shigeo Tokuda and he is a 74-year-old porn performer. He often stars in movies staged in old-age homes—like, as in “gramps fucks his hot little nurse”—which frankly we have no clue who would want to watch, save for the morbid chuckles factor. Regardless, we headed over to meet this geriatric pussy master and ask him questions about his ancient cock”.

… but I was left wiping guacamole from my nostrils when I read:

“You probably think of Monty Python as a symbol of the sad, forced eccentricity your uptight gay British dad used to display when he was in a cheery mood or when he was drunk on schnapps. In fact, maybe the very words “Monty Python” act as a Pavlovian trigger for traumatic memories of the shame of seeing your mum silently cry while Dad went on about the Spanish Inquisition and the Ministry of Funny Walks. But go a little deeper into your id and you’ll realize that your dad was a thwarted artist who secretly wanted to have you aborted so he could pursue an experimental theatrical comedy career. And it’s all Monty Python’s fault. The influence runs that deep”.

Ah… youth and young manhood. I’m not over the hill yet.