All Day Practice

The Integral Spiritual Centre recently posted a video of Father Thomas Keating and Diane Musho Hamiltion talking about spontaneous practice outside the consecrated space of prayer or meditation. I loved the way their chat coursed around an underlying theme of unconscious competence being the hallmark of stabilised transformation.

The video caught my attention mainly because I've been noticing a marked improvement in my ability to carry the embodied wisdom cultivated in mediation and prayer into my daily interactions since recommitting to daily practice a few months back.

The big one's been finding innovative ways of practicing 'not this, not that' with the thought process that seeks to define categories and concepts outside of my proximate self as I (e.g. judgements or expectations at work or old concepts of who I am in relation to family). I've been finding that I can hold that mind in a not this, not that state to reveal a deeper level of presence, and then from that state of presence, allow the conceptual mind to do its work. It's been great practice. I'm finding myself aware of my self system as an undefinable process, and then in not suppressing any part of it, I'm able to experience a more unconditioned presence as self and a healthy self concept in perpetual motion.

When doing it today, I noticed an interesting way of returning to consciousness which is able to be found when I try to not define myself. I open myself to the realisation that everything is in flow, then notice it through my thinking processes (which is where my attention is when I feel the need to return to consciousness other than thinking!) that this is true, and then commence the not this, not that from there. What happens is that my thinking mind is satisfied that it has worked out that the entire universe is flow, then turns to defining me, and from that spot quickly realises that the rules outside also apply inside, and then rests. It's a nice neutraliser for my neuroticism!

Resting as open presence at work has been really pleasing for me. It's given me the ability to get through this rather incongruent temporary compromise with more equanimity and also allowed me the space to challenge my assumptions of what "this is". The mix of the two has been a critical insight. In the past I've thought that being in deep presence would just end up pointing out the pains of this compromise, and so I engaged in avoidance. I've also existed in the concepts of what I think this thing "is" so deeply that I've not been able to locate my presence beyond the clockwork universe I'd sealed myself in. With the two together, I get to notice that I'm not stuck beyond the inevitable slips into unconsciousness, and that I'm also able to inhabit perspectives relating to this work which are pleasing and productive for my health and wellbeing.

Beyond that, I'm also noticing that through holding this practice throughout the day, I'm also able to see the distinction between presence and the self-structure more. It's given me a cool insight into application of a Wilber-Combs matrix type analysis of my own path forward. From the distinctions I'm inhabiting, I'm able to be my present less-conditioned self anywhere, and yet, I also need to have a healthy ego which is happy and engaging in activities which are developmentally appropriate. This has been a big shift for me. I've been trying to overcome a horrible greeny/spiritually pluralistic defence inside me which has been either seeing wide presence and thinking that all is manifest so there's no good grounded reason for allowing myself to do things which are at my edge (a terrible neurosis around seeking permission for being myself to avoid the revocation of love in previously contingent relationships), or seeing my edge of development and then losing presence in the sole identification with that ego. This healthier space between the two is very bright indeed.

It's a place where I can intersect my own state capacities with my own stage capacities (across various lines). It's a bit like the triangular conception done by Terri O'Fallon at Pacific Integral on charting through the matrix what you can and can't see. To me, by knowing where my presence is, I don't have to be at the mercy of the self-concept all the time. By not being at the mercy of the self-concept, I can get enough subject-object distance on it to engage in transformative work, anywhere, in real time. With that, I'm able to be in process while I engage with the ways my stage-structure conceptions (rather than my defences and disillusionment) want to interact with the world(s) that stage-concept discloses to my perceptions and analysis... and all that's happening across my self-system continuum (proximate, distal etc). It's a very liberating practice for a dude who has been stuck in emotional and physical turmoil (and the scripts inside that turmoil) for a while.

St Uriel the Archangel Gnostic Community has a new home...

"Enlighten your mind... Light the lamp within you. Knock on yourself as if upon a door and walk upon yourself as upon a straight road. For if you walk on the road, it is impossible for you to go astray. Open the door for you so that you may know what it is."
– Silvanus

My friend Tim has recently been given news that the Apostolic Johannite Church is to ordain him a preist in May. He's been a seminarian in the chuch for a while now, and will continue his seminary training while serving his Sydney Parish, St Uriel's, upon his return.





As part of this irrovocable new step in the path of his humanity, he has established a chuch space for services every Sunday night at the Sydney Unitarian Church (1-15 Francis St, Darlinghurst). If you're interested in authentic spirituality and are wondering how you might hold that within the frame of your own western Christian culture, St Uriel's might be a refuge worth considering along your path.

The Apostolic Johannite Church is a modern, gnostic, christian esoteric church with valid apostolic succession (all the way back to JC!). Tim's a kind, intelligent, warm man who is putting a lot of heart, mind and spirit into his development and transformation into a priest. I'm sure he'd love to see you there sometime.

Check out the blog he has created to chart his journey along this path.